Feb 5, 2008
The List
On a personal note, firstly to all of my friends at Union, and to everyone effected: you are in my prayers, and I will see you soon.
I know that many of you who read this will be deciding where you go to school pretty soon, and I want to help you as much as I can. I know how it feels to have every adult you've ever talked to ask you where you are going, how you are going to pay for it, and what you want to do afterwards. There was this one guy from my church that asked me for an update, literally, every week. And the guidance counselors at the school. Teachers. I always hated "the list," with everyone's name on it, and a big fat blank space next to mine right between "Alaster Bennet--Boston" and "Caleb See--Ivy League, thank you." Shoot me. I wanted to pull a Winona Ryder, take a drag on my cigarette, look my counselor dead in the face, and say, "I'm not going to college." I never did it, though. Who knows why not.
I did the whole "educated decision" thing, where I looked up the statistics of all the schools I wanted to go to. For a while, my junior year, I even answered ALL of my college mail. Every last letter, asking for more information. That's a bad idea. Trust me. Just say no. I know this advice is overdone, but it really worked for me: get a college catalog (a reputable one like The Princeton Review or something), read it, choose a few that you like, ask them for more information, narrow it down to something like five or fewer, apply to the school, apply for every scholarship in the world ever, and decide. You don't want more information that you can handle.
I'm sitting here in Hodge's Library typing this up, and a tour group is walking by. What are they thinking? Where are they coming from? And, why are they here? They are the smart ones, though. Go on tours, because they make you fall in love with the idea of college. There are so many people your age, so close, doing so many things all of the time. You get to sign up for classes that you want to take. You get to distinguish yourself, or blend in. It really is a breathtaking experience when you first walk onto "your school's" campus. Don't just dream about a place. Go check it out.
I know, I know. I'm making everything sound like everyone makes it sound. Easy, right? That's all you have to do. But it's so hard, and everyone knows it. They just don't tell you because they don't want you to freak out about it. Just decide, right? I mean, who cares, anyway? It will just irreversibly change the course of your life forever. It's a hard thing to do, this "decide" word that everyone throws at you. "Have you made a decision?" "Did you decide to apply for aid?" "Why haven't you decided yet?" Yet you have to, or else the opportunity passes and you are a struggling screenplay writer living in Jersey and smoking three packs a day next to the vent in the community bathroom. Or something like that. I try not to project or be specific.
I guess the real question is, how do you decide? Honestly, I have no clue. I tried my hardest to go to Saint Louis, but just couldn't pay for it, even with a pretty substantial scholarship. Money is a true factor, I think, but not all of it. To be straightforward about it, I think God put me here because it is what's best for me. Beyond faith, I really have no advice on how to choose. I'm sorry if that seems silly or unsatisfactory, but I still don't know any other way.
I want to end this post with a desperate plea: help me help you out. Post some comments with questions about ANYTHING you want to know, and I will answer them as quickly and as well as I can. Don't be afraid to ask anything, and, as always, I am going to try to be as real as I possibly can be. I can't wait to hear from you.
I know that many of you who read this will be deciding where you go to school pretty soon, and I want to help you as much as I can. I know how it feels to have every adult you've ever talked to ask you where you are going, how you are going to pay for it, and what you want to do afterwards. There was this one guy from my church that asked me for an update, literally, every week. And the guidance counselors at the school. Teachers. I always hated "the list," with everyone's name on it, and a big fat blank space next to mine right between "Alaster Bennet--Boston" and "Caleb See--Ivy League, thank you." Shoot me. I wanted to pull a Winona Ryder, take a drag on my cigarette, look my counselor dead in the face, and say, "I'm not going to college." I never did it, though. Who knows why not.
I did the whole "educated decision" thing, where I looked up the statistics of all the schools I wanted to go to. For a while, my junior year, I even answered ALL of my college mail. Every last letter, asking for more information. That's a bad idea. Trust me. Just say no. I know this advice is overdone, but it really worked for me: get a college catalog (a reputable one like The Princeton Review or something), read it, choose a few that you like, ask them for more information, narrow it down to something like five or fewer, apply to the school, apply for every scholarship in the world ever, and decide. You don't want more information that you can handle.
I'm sitting here in Hodge's Library typing this up, and a tour group is walking by. What are they thinking? Where are they coming from? And, why are they here? They are the smart ones, though. Go on tours, because they make you fall in love with the idea of college. There are so many people your age, so close, doing so many things all of the time. You get to sign up for classes that you want to take. You get to distinguish yourself, or blend in. It really is a breathtaking experience when you first walk onto "your school's" campus. Don't just dream about a place. Go check it out.I know, I know. I'm making everything sound like everyone makes it sound. Easy, right? That's all you have to do. But it's so hard, and everyone knows it. They just don't tell you because they don't want you to freak out about it. Just decide, right? I mean, who cares, anyway? It will just irreversibly change the course of your life forever. It's a hard thing to do, this "decide" word that everyone throws at you. "Have you made a decision?" "Did you decide to apply for aid?" "Why haven't you decided yet?" Yet you have to, or else the opportunity passes and you are a struggling screenplay writer living in Jersey and smoking three packs a day next to the vent in the community bathroom. Or something like that. I try not to project or be specific.
I guess the real question is, how do you decide? Honestly, I have no clue. I tried my hardest to go to Saint Louis, but just couldn't pay for it, even with a pretty substantial scholarship. Money is a true factor, I think, but not all of it. To be straightforward about it, I think God put me here because it is what's best for me. Beyond faith, I really have no advice on how to choose. I'm sorry if that seems silly or unsatisfactory, but I still don't know any other way.
I want to end this post with a desperate plea: help me help you out. Post some comments with questions about ANYTHING you want to know, and I will answer them as quickly and as well as I can. Don't be afraid to ask anything, and, as always, I am going to try to be as real as I possibly can be. I can't wait to hear from you.
• • •
7 Comments:
I am loving "The list" for your subject.
Now, you're blog was about making college decisions. Well my dilemma isn't not being able to make my choice due to being indecisive, it's because I SIMPLY CANNOT!
I have applied to 4 other schools and have been accepted to them all, but UTK has been my dream school since the beginning of Highschool! I am currently a senior and I applied by Nov. 1, I have a decent ACT score, above average GPA. I do everything at school I play sports and I am apart of every club and organization at my school plus being SGA President!
I have hyped up UTK and made it seem like the best place to go, even convincing my Bestfriends to apply (they've been accepted)! But it is now February and I have yet to be ACCEPTED or REJECTED, but put on the "Waiting List!"
So when people ask me "Where do you want to go to school?" I have to say "UTK, Hopefully!" and I feel like I should be totally prepared, knowing where I am going, how I am paying for it, and the whole 9 yards. But as of now I am just... Waiting to make "THE FINAL LIST"
First of all...your writing is amazing and so relatable. It feels like you are sitting in front of me talking rather than me reading your text in a blog. So, thanks.
Second of all, in regard to you offering help/answering questions...most of my questions are basic and somewhat superficial...do you think that UT is still a "partying" school? What are the best dorms? Are learning communities worth it? Is Freshmen year difficult academically? Any ideas on curing/slightly killing Senioritis? Thanks for any answers you can provide. Thanks for your blogs! I look forward to reading them.
Sarah,
I'm sorry about not hearing back from them. I remember it took them a while for me, too, so don't loose hope. I have to say, your comment both makes me uneasy and excites me. It's a hard thing, deciding who is going to be allowed to come to your school. I am lucky it's not my job, because I would just let everyone in and bankrupt my school. I am slightly excited, because having smart students on the waiting list is just another sign that we are getting more selective. I hope you can see that as a good thing, and (I hope I can say) WHEN you come here, you can enjoy the fact that UT is a good school, academically.
Betsy,
Thank you, and good questions. I think UT can definitely be a partying school if you want it to be. At the same time, though, it's so huge that you can find a crowd doing whatever you want to do. I don't really party, and I feel no pressure to. A lot of my friends do it, but a lot of them don't. And the best dorm is always the one you live in. In my opinion, Morrill is quietest and cleanest, Hess is the wildest, Humes has the most community, and Massey has the best location. It depends on what you want. Learning communities are DEFINITELY worth it. I am in the honors community, and we help each other out with everything. The first semester is strange, for sure. You have to get used to waking yourself up and going to bed even though everyone else (it seems) is still up. You have to use your free time wisely. These things are more difficult than it may seem. But as for sheer ability to do it...don't worry about it. If you try, you won't flunk out. I think some people come expecting to be the smartest ones here, and they get angry when they realize it's not true. College has a higher curve, and that is difficult to learn, too. And the best cure for Senioritis is getting out of high school. Enjoy the months you have left, and if you are meant for college, then learning should be a part of that. Busy work is not. Fight the man.
In peace,
Alex (Don't think I'm allowed to put my last name...? Definitely almost did right then.)
I am finally reading Blue Like Jazz.
And I even caved and paid full price when I couldn't find it in a used book store.
Oh, and come back.
This may well be my favorite site, Alex, if you wrote something more than once a month.
Let me first say that I already know I'll be attending UT this coming fall, so I don't exactly have a question about deciding. It took several months of nice, hard weight-lifting of the pros/cons variety, but I finally managed to stick by my decision to wrestle life through UT.
But I do have a few questions about UT that the pamphlets and the trips on campus just can't answer. For instance, I'm contemplating whether or not I should do the Ignite Summit program. Did you do that? If so, what's the difference between it and freshman orientation? Both sound sort of the same, except Ignite takes three days while orientation just takes two. Is the Ignite program worth the money?
Also, I've heard horror stories about the teachers at UT. While I know that not all teachers in one school can be completely out to get you, my high school teachers as well as the guidance department all suggest the same thing: college teachers don't go out of their way to assist you in the learning process. I wouldn't put much stock on silly opinions, ordinarily, but since its my teachers who attended UT themselves (like 50 years ago, but it's still basically the same school) saying them, I feel a little worried. Are college teachers really so unwilling to help when things don't make sense? Have you had any good experiences with the teachers there that will make me feel slightly less apprehensive? I'm worried the classes will all be so large that I'll sort of sink into the wallpaper and be lost in a sea of people, and the teachers won't be able to help everyone.
Thank you for any light you can shed on these two subjects!
That picture is haunting.
i still have no idea what college i want to go to. i have less then a month to decide. its a bit different then america because i live in ireland. im going crazy!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
« Home