Mar 21, 2008
The Trip Back
The week before spring break, UT's campus surges, almost comes alive, with the unspoken yet palpable excitement of scattering in every direction. It's the same way you feel after three hours of cigarettes and coffee: nothing matters so much as the people you love, conversation, and the freedom to move around.Most of my friends went home to see everyone they have missed, to spend some time pretending that they won't have to start school again in a few days. Their drive is long and tantalizing, as when they were younger waiting for Six Flags or Disney Land, now they can't wait to get home. They will count the mile markers on the side of the road. "Only 46 miles to go; maybe I can go a little faster." Maybe parents or siblings are waiting for them at the end of the drive, close friends, a coffee shop, a street, a church. These things define home. It has very little to do with a building or a bed.
The smell of cheap cigars, for many reasons, always gives me the sense that whatever I was waiting for is here. My dad always smokes the same Backwoods. That's my smell, and I am incomplete without it. I suppose driving home feels like becoming more clearly myself, if that makes any sense. I am funnier/smarter/more with my brothers and with my parents. Home is exciting for this reason.
I've been excited for a month about the break. Last week was unbearable. I'd had too many cigarettes, too much coffee, and my hands were beginning to shake. I needed to get out. I almost skipped my classes on Thursday, but I figured one of my professors (huge lecture, hundreds of people missing on Thursday) would give a quiz, which she did. I tried to go to all of my classes that day and failed at this goal. I only got half-way through the last one before bailing and walking out mid-lecture, and I never skip class. The sun was just too bright to ignore. If they want people to go to class an hour before spring break, then they should put fewer windows in the classrooms.My girlfriend, wonderful as she is, picked me up ten minutes later and took me to Nashville. I have some family there, so we stayed overnight. I flew out early the next morning to New Orleans and spent a few days with my parents, an honorary uncle, my brothers, and their girlfriends before leaving for a conoeing trip with my dad. The trip was amazing in both the conversation and the quiet, but six days and a sunburn later, I'm ready to get back to school.
The trip back to school is exciting in a different way. When you leave home for school, a part of you stays behind with your family, friends, and the city itself. It's hard to describe having your
heart in two different places, but it's both splitting and fulfilling. In many ways, it's like falling in love. You don't forget your family, but your energy, your thought, and your time all go towards someone new. You begin to start your own life, become independent. You don't forget your family and past, though. It's still a part of you. It's what has made you who you are.I know you aren't supposed to analyze things this much while you're on spring break, but I went conoeing for three days. All you do is sit there and paddle for hours at a time.
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2 Comments:
Your photography is amazing, as is your writing. I'm a junior in high school and will more than likely be attending UT in a year. I'm considering majoring or minoring in English, and I was wondering how you would appraise UT's English department...excellent, good, average, bad, or abysmal?
Thanks for the complements, and for reading. I'm tempted to say abysmal solely because it's a great word, but I will refrain in favor of truth. I would say that they are good. Strunk and White aren't exactly guest lecturing every other week, and Morrison is still at Howard as far as I know, but the faculty here know what they are talking about. They are very knowledgeable and encouraging, specially if you take one of the honors seminars. I've taken one on Marlow, Shakespeare, and Milton, as well as one on James Agee. They were both excellent, and well-taught. My regular classes, as well, have been rather formative in my writing. I'm in a short story writing class right now that has been wonderful. My story is being critiqued today, so I may not like it as much tomorrow. As of right now, however, I will say that it is wonderful. You definitely won't be making a mistake coming here, if that is what you intend to do. Good luck with your writing.
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